http://wiki.maquis.com/index.php?title=Rules_of_Aquisition&feed=atom&action=historyRules of Aquisition - Revision history2024-03-28T15:47:22ZRevision history for this page on the wikiMediaWiki 1.19.8http://wiki.maquis.com/index.php?title=Rules_of_Aquisition&diff=28064&oldid=prevRjohnson: added Return Links2009-12-05T00:05:50Z<p>added Return Links</p>
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<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background: #eee; color:black; font-size: smaller;"><div>*The Unwritten Rule » When no appropriate Rule applies, make one up!</div></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background: #eee; color:black; font-size: smaller;"><div>*The Unwritten Rule » When no appropriate Rule applies, make one up!</div></td></tr>
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<tr><td colspan="2"> </td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="background: #cfc; color:black; font-size: smaller;"><div><ins style="color: red; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">Return to: [[Quartermaster|Quartermaster Main Page]] | [[Main Page|MFI Main Page]]</ins></div></td></tr>
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</table>Rjohnsonhttp://wiki.maquis.com/index.php?title=Rules_of_Aquisition&diff=24082&oldid=prevGyazdir at 19:09, 26 October 20082008-10-26T19:09:17Z<p></p>
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</table>Gyazdirhttp://wiki.maquis.com/index.php?title=Rules_of_Aquisition&diff=21728&oldid=prevWatchdog: WD2008-01-19T00:23:39Z<p>WD</p>
<p><b>New page</b></p><div>== Maquis Quartermaster's Rules of Acquisition ==<br />
*Rule 001 » Once you have their money, you never give it back.<br />
*Rule 002 » The best deal is the one that brings the most profit. <br />
*Rule 003 » Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to. <br />
*Rule 004 » A woman wearing clothes is like a man in the kitchen. <br />
*Rule 005 » If you can't break a contract, bend it. <br />
*Rule 006 » Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity. <br />
*Rule 007 » Keep your ears open. <br />
*Rule 008 » Small print leads to large risk. <br />
*Rule 009 » Opportunity plus instinct equals profit. <br />
*Rule 010 » Greed is eternal. <br />
*Rule 011 » Even if it's free, you can always buy it cheaper. <br />
*Rule 012 » Anything worth doing is worth doing for money. <br />
*Rule 013 » Anything worth doing is worth doing twice. <br />
*Rule 014 » Keep your family close, keep your Latinum closer. <br />
*Rule 015 » Acting stupid is often smart. <br />
*Rule 016 » A deal is a deal. (until a better one comes along). <br />
*Rule 017 » A contract is a contract is a contract - but only between Ferengi. <br />
*Rule 018 » A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all. <br />
*Rule 019 » Satisfaction is not guaranteed. <br />
*Rule 020 » Only give money to people you know you can steal from. <br />
*Rule 021 » Never place friendship before profit. <br />
*Rule 022 » A wise man can hear profit in the wind. <br />
*Rule 024 » Latinum can't buy happiness, but you can sure have a blast renting it. <br />
*Rule 025 » There's always a way out. <br />
*Rule 026 » As the customers go, so goes the wise profiteer. <br />
*Rule 027 » There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman. <br />
*Rule 028 » Whisper your way to success. <br />
*Rule 029 » What's in it for me? <br />
*Rule 030 » Talk is cheap; synthehol costs money. <br />
*Rule 031 » Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother. (insult something he cares about, instead). <br />
*Rule 032 » Be careful what you sell. It may do exactly what the customer expects. <br />
*Rule 033 » It never hurts to suck up to the boss. <br />
*Rule 034 » War is good for business. <br />
*Rule 035 » Peace is good for business. <br />
*Rule 036 » Too many Ferengi can't laugh at themselves anymore. <br />
*Rule 037 » If it's free, take it and worry about hidden costs later. <br />
*Rule 039 » Friendship is temporary; profit is forever. <br />
*Rule 040 » She can touch your lobes, but never your Latinum. <br />
*Rule 041 » Profit is its own reward. <br />
*Rule 042 » What's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine too. <br />
*Rule 043 » Caressing an ear is often more forceful than pointing a weapon. <br />
*Rule 044 » Never confuse wisdom with luck. <br />
*Rule 045 » Ambition knows no family. <br />
*Rule 046 » Make your shop easy to find. <br />
*Rule 047 » Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own. <br />
*Rule 048 » The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife. <br />
*Rule 049 » Everything is worth something to somebody. <br />
*Rule 050 » Gratitude can bring on generosity. <br />
*Rule 051 » Reward anyone who adds to your profits so they will continue to do so. <br />
*Rule 052 » Never ask when you can take. <br />
*Rule 057 » Good customers are as rare as Latinum, Treasure them. <br />
*Rule 058 » There is no substitute for success. <br />
*Rule 059 » Free advice is seldom cheap. <br />
*Rule 060 » Keep your lies consistent. <br />
*Rule 061 » Never buy what can be stolen. <br />
*Rule 062 » The riskier the road, the greater the profit. <br />
*Rule 065 » Win or lose, there's always Huyperian beetle snuff. <br />
*Rule 068 » Ear stroking will get you anything. <br />
*Rule 069 » Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races. <br />
*Rule 070 » Get the money first, then let the buyers worry about collecting the merchandise. <br />
*Rule 071 » There's a customer born every minute. <br />
*Rule 072 » Never trust your customers. <br />
*Rule 073 » If it gets you profit, sell your own mother. <br />
*Rule 075 » Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of Latinum. <br />
*Rule 076 » Every once in a while, declare peace. "It confuses the woof out of your enemies". <br />
*Rule 077 » It's better to swallow your pride than to lose your profit. <br />
*Rule 078 » When the going gets tough, the tough change the Rules. <br />
*Rule 079 » Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge. <br />
*Rule 082 » The flimsier the product, the higher the price. <br />
*Rule 084 » A friend is not a friend if he asks for a discount. <br />
*Rule 085 » Never let the competition know what you're thinking. <br />
*Rule 087 » A friend in need means three times the profit. <br />
*Rule 089 » Ask not what your profits can do for you, ask what you can do for your profits. <br />
*Rule 092 » There are many paths to profit. <br />
*Rule 093 » Act without delay! The sharp knife cuts quickly. <br />
*Rule 094 » Females and finances don't mix. <br />
*Rule 095 » Expand or die. <br />
*Rule 096 » For every Rule, there is an equal and opposite Rule, (except when there's not). <br />
*Rule 097 » Enough... is never enough. <br />
*Rule 098 » Every man has his price. <br />
*Rule 099 » Trust is the biggest liability of all. <br />
*Rule 100 » If they take your first offer, you either asked too little or offered too much. <br />
*Rule 101 » The only value of a collectible is what you can get somebody else to pay for it. <br />
*Rule 102 » Nature decays, but Latinum lasts forever. <br />
*Rule 103 » Sleep can interfere with... (profit).<br />
*Rule 104 » Faith moves mountains... (of inventory). <br />
*Rule 105 » Don't trust anyone who trusts you. <br />
*Rule 106 » There is no honor in poverty. <br />
*Rule 107 » A warranty is valid only if they can find you. <br />
*Rule 109 » Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack. <br />
*Rule 111 » Treat people in your debt like family, exploit them [ruthlessly]. <br />
*Rule 112 » Never have sex with the boss' sister. <br />
*Rule 113 » Always have sex with the boss. <br />
*Rule 115 » The best contract always has a lot of fine print. <br />
*Rule 116 » There's always a catch. <br />
*Rule 117 » Everything is for sale, including friendship. <br />
*Rule 119 » Never judge a customer by the size of his wallet, (...sometimes, good things come in small packages). <br />
*Rule 121 » Everything is for sale, including friendship. <br />
*Rule 123 » Even a blind man can recognize the glow of Latinum. <br />
*Rule 125 » You can't make a deal if you're dead. <br />
*Rule 126 » Count it. <br />
*Rule 127 » Stay neutral in conflict so that you can sell supplies to both sides. <br />
*Rule 135 » Never trust a beneficiary. <br />
*Rule 139 » Wives serve, brothers inherit. <br />
*Rule 141 » Only fools pay retail. <br />
*Rule 142 » There's no such thing as an unfair advantage. <br />
*Rule 143 » Risk is part of the game... play it for all it's worth. <br />
*Rule 144 » There's nothing wrong with charity...as long as it winds up in your pocket. <br />
*Rule 146 » Necessity, n. The mother of invention. Profit is the father. <br />
*Rule 152 » A lie is a way to tell the truth to someone who doesn't know. <br />
*Rule 153 » Sell the sizzle, not the steak. <br />
*Rule 162 » Even in the worst of times, someone turns a profit. <br />
*Rule 168 » Whisper your way to success. <br />
*Rule 169 » Competition and fair play are mutually exclusive. <br />
*Rule 171 » Blood is thicker than water, and Latinum is thicker than both. <br />
*Rule 172 » Chances aren't what they used to be. <br />
*Rule 177 » Know your enemies... but do business with them always. <br />
*Rule 181 » Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit. <br />
*Rule 188 » A fool and his money is the best customer. <br />
*Rule 189 » Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.<br />
*Rule 190 » Hear all, trust nothing.<br />
*Rule 191 » A Ferengi waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves.<br />
*Rule 192 » Never cheat a Klingon... unless you're sure you can get away with it.<br />
*Rule 194 » It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door.<br />
*Rule 200 » If you're going to have to endure, make yourself comfortable.<br />
*Rule 202 » The justification of profit is profit.<br />
*Rule 203 » New customers are like razor-backed Gree worms... They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back!<br />
*Rule 204 » It takes a Ferengi to cheat a Ferengi.<br />
*Rule 208 » Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer.<br />
*Rule 211 » Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success... don't hesitate to step on them.<br />
*Rule 212 » Never give away for free what can be sold. <br />
*Rule 214 » Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.<br />
*Rule 216 » Never gamble with an empath.<br />
*Rule 217 » You can't free a fish from water.<br />
*Rule 218 » Always know what you're buying<br />
*Rule 219 » Possession is 11/10 of the law.<br />
*Rule 223 » Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox.<br />
*Rule 229 » Latinum lasts longer than lust.<br />
*Rule 231 » There's a sucker born every minute; be sure you're the first to find each one.<br />
*Rule 236 » You can't buy fate.<br />
*Rule 239 » Never be afraid to mislabel a product.<br />
*Rule 241 » Never trust a hardworking employee.<br />
*Rule 242 » More is good... all is better.<br />
*Rule 253 » Synthehol is the lubricant of choice for a customer's stuck purse.<br />
*Rule 255 » A wife is a luxury... a smart accountant, a necessity.<br />
*Rule 256 » Accountants do not play the game; they only keep the score.<br />
*Rule 260 » Life's not fair. How else would you turn a profit?<br />
*Rule 261 » A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.<br />
*Rule 262 » A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.<br />
*Rule 263 » Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for Latinum.<br />
*Rule 265 » The customer is always right, (...until you get their cash).<br />
*Rule 266 » When in doubt, lie.<br />
*Rule 267 » If you believe it, they believe it.<br />
*Rule 270 » In business deals, a disruptor can be almost as important as a calculator.<br />
*Rule 277 » Anything worth fighting for is worth hiding from.<br />
*Rule 284 » Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi.<br />
*Rule 285 » No good deed ever goes unpunished.<br />
*Rule 286 » When Morn leaves, it's all over. (Quark made this rule up)<br />
*Rule 299 » Whenever you exploit someone, it never hurts to thank them. That way, it's easier to exploit them the next time. (Neelix made this rule up)<br />
<br><br><br />
*The Unwritten Rule » When no appropriate Rule applies, make one up!</div>Watchdog